Shy-Chey

10:53 pm: Hey
Well it's sure been a while. I guess I just use myspace more than this journal. Maybe I will start writing more who knows. Either way, I am in the process of making it a friends only journal. One entry at a time I guess...couldn't figure out how to do the whole thing at once.

It's amazing how much I've grown since my freshman year in college. I'm not ashamed of who I was, but I've definitely figured some things out. That is one of the reasons I love journals...they document growth. Anyway, it's just interesting to look back.

I'll write more later perhaps.
Cheyenne

11:46 pm:
Your aura shines Blue!


What Color Is Your Aura?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, I can't say too much because the computer is being weird and it's possible to lose my entire entry at any second. Things are okay...I've had a BLAST during this break so far...and I've really needed it. I was pretty stressed out. I'm in the process of refocusing myself...hopefully I'll be all set to go back for three weeks when that time arrives.

I'm not tired because I've stayed up til at least three every night since Friday. Ah well, guess I should try. My cousins and aunt and uncle are here for Thanksgiving...it's exciting.
Laters.
Always,
Cheyenne

02:17 pm: Good Days
Hey hey, what's going on. Well there are a few really cool things to say.

Yesterday I decided to look at some random journals and I found a pretty awesome one. I looked through it and it looks like this guy only writes every so often (about once a month, give or take) but the things he writes are so profound. Even when he's not discussing ideas of some sort, he writes very intelligently. It's been my experience that interesting live journals are rare, so it was nice to find one that was actually worth reading. I was thinking about commenting to him. Who knows. He was talking about religion in atleast two of the entries I read and it was all just so interesting.

I rarely discuss profound things in my LJ. Mostly I just use it as a diary. This is greatly due to the fact that I have a REAL journal, which I write in much more frequently. Anything profound I have to express, I write in that.

On to today. It was a good day for a couple of reasons. Although I woke up later than I had hoped, I slept really well. I didn't just sleep, I was able to get rest as well. I went to my music theory class and realized that I am starting to understand about fifty percent of what I am should be understanding. It's not where I ought to be, but I'm starting to make connections between certain concepts. Considering that class is kind of a challenge for me, it's cool when things begin to come together. It's hard because it doesn't matter how long or hard you think about it, if you aren't thinking the right way, it's a dead end. Anyway, given a few more study sessions this new stuff should be easy.

Then, I went to lunch with some of my good guy friends. Tim, Jim, and Michael. Davis was there also, but I'm not as well acquainted with him. While it was fun hanging out with them, the conversation consisted mostly of Vandaleers (which is a choir that I'm not in), so there was little I could contribute. None the less, it was a nice lunch. PLUS, a certain person was eating lunch there too. :) This made me happy. While we were getting our food he WINKED at me. That makes at least three winks for this semester. They are so...nice.

After lunch, I left early, mostly because I was finished (but it didn't hurt that he was leaving too). He was with Adam and they managed to get ahead of me. So I walked behing them, not wanting to intrude on their conversation. Then, they kind of turned around and he waved me over. :) YAY. We walked home in the pouring rain but it was a good time. A nice conversation.

Anyhoo...just thought I'd share. It really made my day. I'm often far too analytical for my own good. I think about things way too much and make them out to be what they aren't. I'm getting better, but it's days like these that help me put things back into the proper perspective.
Okay, laters.
Always,
Chey

PS-Going to see Ralph Nader tonight...Psyched am I.

05:43 pm: That's Right I Am!

Democrat - You believe that there should be a free
market which is reigned in by a modest state
beaurocracy. You think that capitalism has
some good things, but that those it helps
should be obliged to help out their fellow man
a little. Your historical role model is
Franklin Rosevelt.


Which political sterotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yeah, tell me somethin' I DON'T know. :) That was a fun quiz. I think I actually have a little bit of republican in me on some issues and I'd also have to say that I also agree with the ideology of the green party. Which reminds me!!

Next week I am going with Arlie to see Ralph Nader at WAZZU. I am psyched!!! It's going to be awesome. I can't believe he's coming to such a small community. Of course WSU is kind of better than us for several reasons. First of all, they're rich. Next, their Mascot and their Colors are both cooler than ours. Thirdly, they're Rich. Another reason they are cooler than us would be their English department along with most of their other fields of study (because they are rich) Finally, and perhaps most importantly, their ethnic diversity in student population is much greater than ours (this probably means more open minds and freedom of self expression). Then again, maybe I'm just a music major-the major which involves a high school type setting where you see the same people everyday, and will continue to see everyday for every year that you are in school. hmmm. Either way, open minds and the freedom of self expression are two great things.

Well, I've been trying to give LJ a little bit of a break. Been writing in my real journal which proves to be much more therapeutic for me anyway. So, I guess that's it for now. I've been feeling a lot better lately. The pnemonia and bronchitis is almost out of my system and all I'm waiting for now, is my voice to return to me. Yeah...can't wait for that.

One last note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY alliturtle !!
Happy FRIDAY...have a good weekend.
Always,
Chey

04:46 pm: Pnemonia.
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
It turns out that I have pnemonia and bronchitis...you know...two sicknesses in one...yeahhhhhhhh...not too happy about this.

I went to the store last night and bought all the drugs I found that looked even the least bit helpful. I got some throat spray, four different kinds of cough drops, some with vitamin C, some with Zinc, some that make your mouth numb (my personal fav), and some regular ricolas. I bought some oranges, orange juice, kleenex, honey to put in tea, and some good ol' menthalatum. I am STOCKED UP.

My mouth is numb right now, which is righteous. I love it. Only because what's the alternative? Pain or numbness? Hmm. LET ME THINK.

Alright, Enough outta me, the time has come for me to blow my nose, and relax a little. You know what would completely hit the spot for me right now? Shrek. That movie rules and it's been forever since I've seen it. I wonder if anyone owns it...
Talk to you laters.
Always,
Cheyenne

12:14 am: A Much Needed Spring Break
Hay-loe. Wow, what a day! It's already Wednesday. Amazin. Spring break is sadly half way over.

I was looking forward to a nice quiet week, and being like one person out of three or so in our hall that stayed this break. There are, however, atleast eight girls in the hall. But whatever, it's still significantly quieter than normal. I'm enjoying it. It's just going a little too fast for my taste. I still have much to accomplish.

Well, I guess I will keep it short. I've been trying not to write, but I've been having some withdrawals. :P

My friend Michael and I got into a rather large fight last week and things are finally cool between us. We even had a really deep conversation this evening concerning everything from politics, the qualifications of an open mind, suicide and friendship. It's nice that things are completely normal again. I can sleep a little better anway.

Welp, that's enough from me. It's off to bed so I can wake up relatively early and work work work. :) Oh yes and alliturtle thanks for loaning me your car!!! I'm incredibly grateful!
NIGHT. SWEET DREAMS.
Always,
Chey

PS- Oh yeah, and I've been wondering the likelihood of a successful relationship between a liberal (not extreme but somewhere in the middle) and a conservative (maybe a little more than the middle). Can it work??? Am I rightfully losing hope in the idea???

01:45 pm: Wink, Wink
Hey HEY. How's it going? I am good. It's monday and I'm in a great mood.

School wise things kind of sucked today. I got to piano and then musH and finally aural skills and all I could think about is how bad I am about music and how little I know...almost completely hopeless. Then Dan told us (out of no where) if you feel that way, you're in the right place. You SHOULD be a music major. It was nice to hear and very coincidental since that's how I've been feeling. The thing is I REALLY DO feel this way. I don't know..I'm going to try not to think about it anymore and just work harder. Hopefully it will pay off;

I got a wink from a certain someone today at lunch which made me soooo happy. It ALMOST makes up for the fact that he's been hanging out with this other chica the last how ever long...I left for home almost right after him, but I couldn't catch up to him.

I ran into my friend David right as I was about to reach Wallace. We talked for a minute about being a Ed major. I haven't talked to him in a while so it was nice, even though it was just a couple minutes.

Oh yeah, went to lunch with TIm originally, and this other vocal music major, George, sat with us. He seems like a very hot/cold kind of guy...sorta defensive. Of course I'm probably just mistaking that for him not liking me, which, he CLEARLY doesn't. I SO don't care, but having to sit through lunch, holding my tongue was not fun. Anyway, George just kind of pisses me off. He's seldom nice to me, and when he is, I never know what to think because it's usually more politeness than niceness. Whatever though, why get upset and bothered by someone that's not really worth the time?

Ash Wednesday is this Wednesday. I am giving up procrastination and eating past 7:30pm for LENT. I can do it. I know I can because this time it's not for me, it's for God.

Anyhoo, I guess I'm going to go now...LJ is kind of pissing me off lately. I miss my regular journal...this one is just so convenient. Well, Ciao.
Always,
Chey

01:16 pm: Fly Me To The Moon
Hola...whatta week last week was. How I love Jazz Fest...I've been going since seventh grade...You have to have an fondness for music (not to mention JAZZ) in order to fully appreciate the festival, For me it was a relief from all the classical I've been studying A L L Y E A R L O N G . . . Oh yeah, and I love Jazz.

Anyhoo...today has been an awesome awesome day. I caught a certain someone looking at me, and smiled at him my sweetest smile. Then later in aural skills...HE smiled really sweetly at me! yay. THEN, walking home, a really cute boy I've seen around a lot (who smiles very nicely at me every time I do see him) smiled and said hi to me. I know it's all nonsense...but it makes me happy. A Good Boy Day.

I also have the rest of the day off. Normally I would have Jazz Choir at three thirty, but it's cancelled. Good? Sure, I don;t have to go anywhere else now. At the same time, it is also one of my favorite classes...so whatevah...:)

I've also started to refocus myself. I have the worst tendancy in the world to live in the future. It's so bad, So I've reexamined my priorities and I'm trying to approach things realistically, as opposed to my usual perfectionist attitude.

I'm also having friend issues. I've always believed that it's better to travel alone that in poor company. Now I'm not saying that I travel in poor company-per say. :) I just don't know that I connect well with a lot of the people I spend my time with. I hate that feeling. I've also grown too interested in how others view me...I SO didn't care at the begining of the year and now I'm back to being the usual people pleaser. From one extreme to the next. These dilemas are sure bothersome...I don't know what to do...it's all kind of overwhelming.

Church this week was about faith and forgiveness...as a change of pace, many profound things were said. Okay, okay that's a little harsh. But seriously, the decon gives much better homilies than the priest. I need to remember that God is always here. I need to just give things up to him. Nothing is in my hands. It's all up to him. I have to learn to forgive and love everyone around me. I've developed such a bad attitude over this school year. I feel like such a bad person. There is no excuse for it, but I think being around my peers SO much has that unconscious impact on me. I have to remember who I am. That can be hard.

Well, I think that's just about enough for one day :) It's been a lil' while since I've last updated. Okaystudytime.
Always,
cHeYeNnE
Chey (did you know that Chey (pronounced Shay-spelled who knows how) means house or household in french. At least I think it was french...:D

02:26 am: wOoHoO
I'm so super tired...but I couldn't go to bed without saying that I had such a wonderful weekend with Gabe. Details lata on. Oh and I bought three new cds this weekend...I guess I'm unconciously spending money before I have to figure it all out and see how much I'm going to have to borrow...BOOOOO I don't want to have to borrow from my relatives...ah well...such is life...I think I'll send my oh so tired self to bed right now...I will post about Gabe tomorrow or sometime in the near future...hope everyone has had a lovely weekend. :)
Love Always,
Chey ;) ;) ;)

02:47 pm: You Couldn't Have Picked A Better Weekend to Visit.
Greetings. Today has been such a 180 in comparison to yesterday. My friend Jason called me lots yesterday which made me feel good. He remembered that Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. :) He actually had to remind me this year...it slipped my memory this year. Anyway, yesterday was sorta depressing but today more than makes up for it.


Jas called again and this time I got to talk to him :) We talked for like fifteen minutes or so and then I called Gabe because apparently he's leaving tomorrow morning. YEAH...he's gonna be here on Tuesday or Wednesday. It's weird how happy I am about it. I guess I didn't think he was really coming. I decided a long time ago when he first told me he was coming, that I wouldn't hold my breathe...and I also was over the minute crush that I had on him way back when. Anyway, it's just so cool that I'll actually be seeing him in a few days. I'm definately over my feelings for him, but he has always been a friend...so it's really exciting. He represents Santa Fe. I miss Santa Fe. He also helps keep me realistic in my thoughts toward Santa Fe. I told him I missed it, and he said not to and reminded me of all the crap that comes along with it...this is going to be really cool.

I don't know how long he'll be here. But hopefully we'll get to spend the day together. I used my parents phone to call him because my battery was low and apparently theirs was also because it cut us off. Sad...I'll have to call him back later tonight and get some more details out of him so I can know how to plan.

Jazz fest, my favorite time of year, is next week. Seeing as how I am a music major and all of my classes with the exception of english are music, I have almost all of next week off. So it's a good week to come and visit. Yeah....I'm stoked. This is going to be so cool. I'm going to try and talk him into going to Lewiston so he can see my house. :) We will see.


Anyway, that's all. I was just excited so I thought I'd post about it. YAY. Well I must clean and prepare myself for my day...going to the movies today with some friends. Should be fun. Talk to you laters.
Always,
Chey

01:57 pm: G o n e . . .
PS-MY ROOMMATE IS OUT OF TOWN....LOVE MAL TO DEATH...WHILE I MISS HER COMPANY...IT IS ALSO NICE TO HAVE THE PLACE TO MYSELF FOR A COUPLE DAYS. YAY.

01:57 pm: I Never Cared Much For Moonlit Skies...
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! I usually love this day, but this year I must admit the hint of bitterness I have. I don't even know why. I never really cared about being valentine-less that much before. It was just a part of life...:) Guess the story's different this year.

I think the boy I like is out of town. He hasn't been in class since the day before yesterday. There's a trip to Portland that the wind ensemble went on, but he's not in that group. There's a possibility that he's sick, but who knows. I just missed seeing him in class is all. He's so beautiful :D

Im glad it's a three day weekend but I don't have anything planned. That's cool though. The hall's going to be pretty empty...there are so many people going outta town. Quietness....ahhhhhhh :)

I really really want to go to the movie How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days again. I went to see it with Heather and it was such a good movie. Nice romantic comedy. It's good for guys to see too because there's a guy's angle involved in the storyline, not just a girl's. Kate Hudson is so gorgeous. I think she has the most beautiful smile. It glows. It's cool. I tend to find people with darker features more attractive than people with lighter features, but she's is very pretty. Anyway. I don't know who I can drag with me. My friend Jake is taking my other friends Tarah and Julia out to that movie and Jake said he'd message me about details later...but I dunno...they're my friends. but you know how you have certain friends that you click better with over others? Yeah, I'm just not in the mood to bulshit around tonight...but company to the movie would be nice...:D Hehehe...who knows. :) They are my friends.

Well, I think I'll jet...I'm trying to decide whether or not to go to Jazz Choir...ahhh who am I kiddin...I'm gonna GOOOOOOOOOO. I hate having a conscious...I'm in such a funk these days. Blahhh...:S
Check you latahz...
Always,
Chey
PS- Anyone wants to go to the movie...gimme a jingle jangle :D

03:55 pm: Walking Home
Hey Howdy Hey. Today has been an A+ day. I only had Theory today. After that I went to lunch with Michael and Tim, which was alright. There's an undeniable tension between those two, which makes it hard to hang out with them together. Today was fairly pleasant, however, considering.

Anyway, when we finished...I started back to the dorms by my lonesome because they both were going back to the music building. Right when I walked out of the doors...I heard someone whistling and getting closer...I thought it might be *a certain someone* but I wasn't sure because he would have had to leave his friends (who were still eating) and walk fast just to catch up with me...apparently that's what he did because it was him...he's so cute...he said..."Boo." :) I was SOOO glad it was him and that we'd finally get to walk home together, alone.

We talked a lot about school and stuff. He said he skipped english...thank goodness...I was begining to wonder if he's ever made any mistakes in his life! It was so nice just to be walking and talking. I really like him. Next time I'm going to ask him if he wants to study together...that would be nice. Anyway, this is enough to keep me happy for SO long. Mostly because HE caught up to ME. YAY.

On another note, I miss my real journal. This one is just so much more convenient. I can type fairly quickly so I can write an entry lickity split...but writing it out takes more time...but I also feel more comfortable say WHATEVER I want to say about whatever I want to talk about....I think I'm going to try and get back into the habbit of it...writing things out is such a therapy in itself.

I'm dropping Core but I got a letter from my teacher that says she's concerned about me and that I should come see her as soon as possible. I'm so sad that I have to let go of this class but I think in the end it's the best thing. The class is pretty cool and I just absolutely love my teacher. She's wonderful. An excellent teacher...which I've discovered is a rarity at the U of I...I have some good teachers...but Karen and Dan are the only exceptional ones that I have found so far...and to give that up...sucks...especially when the material is SO interesting! Sadness...but it's better to be realistic, right? I think I'm making the right decision.

My dad came up on Tuesday night and had dinner with me and my friends. It was so cool. I love my dad. We talked about sex and how he feels about his kids bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend home for the night...I know, I know it sounds like an awkward conversation but my parents are cool. It SO wasn't. It was interesting because Heather's the one who brought it up. Heather is like my dad's third daughter...I love how we're all just one big happy family :) Anyway we talked a lot about it, and all in all he would trust me or my brother and sister when they become more of the appropriate age, to do what I feel is right. He knows that I have a good head on my shoulders and wouldn't do anything I didn't feel was right. Not that this is an issue I have to deal with in my immediate present, but hopefully someday. It was just interesting to hear what he had to say. I love my parents.

Well, I guess I'd better jet. I gots stuff to do...tests to study for...and a big huge smile to wear and spread all across campus! :)
LOVE YOU.
Always,
Chey

01:09 pm: You Make Me iLL
hey hey. What's goin on? Welp, nothing much is going on here. I'm SiCk...once again. I feel like all college has brought me is illness. I was the Healthiest person in my High School, how does that work out?!

Anyhoo...right now I'm waiting for my mother to call so I can go outside and wait for her to come pick me up. She is going to take me to Lewiston so I can see a real doctor (as opposed to the piece of crap Student Health Center). Thank goodness for my loving parents. I didn't even ask, she just told me when she could fit it into her schedule. I'm excited to see my mama. I haven't seen her in like two weeks. I know how silly that sounds since most of the people here never see their parents, but I miss my parents easily. And it's not like I didn't spend all of last year and then some three days and two nights in distance away from them. I've done my time :)

Anyhoo...I'm thinking of dropping my core class. I just dont know if I can handle it, I probably could if I worked my ASS off. But I'm already doing that...and working harder than I'm already working doesn't excite me. I would just hate to find out too late that it was too much for me to take on. I'll see what my mom thinks, but I've basically made my mind up.

Speaking of mom...she just called and I have twenty minutes to get my stuff together and meet her downstairs. Which means, I better go. I've never been so excited to see the doctor before in my life.

Check ya latah.
Always,
Chey

05:22 pm: To Party or NOT to Party...That Is The Question
Well well, happy friday? Prolly not...:( I had such a sh-crappy day. Ah well, guess the good part is that it is the last day of the week. One big unenthusiastic Yay...

I'm listening to John Mayer right now...I've been wondering where the eff this cd is for forever...turned out to be with Arlie...she returned it yesterday. This scares me sometimes because what if there's more of my stuff out there that people have barrowed and not brought back? Whatever...I dislike people who use other people.

I miss Em. Pure and simple. This would be a day where we'd might take a walk over to winco just to talk, clear our heads, and buy stuff...then to Hastings to get a movie so when we get home we can just kick back and have something to walk. I miss telling her everything and hearing everything with her. I wrote her a letter the day she left and hopefully she got it today. I'll probably write another one this weekend...things just aren't the same.

I have lots of homework to do this weekend. There's a party this weekend that I want to go to also. Sucks because I really want to go, I'm afraid going will symbolize me not taking myself seriously. I HAVE to do better this semester...so far so good but I don't want to fall behind. I don't know what to do. I have a date with my friend Sara on Saturday which I'm SO looking forward to but it starts at 12pm and that's early. So I guess I can do the quota thing again and if I get what needs to be done done, then I'll go.

The only thing that bothers me about that is the fact that Sunday can be completely thrown away depending on how much one drinks and how late they stay out. Guess I'll just have to play it by ear.

Good point of the day: I got a 98% on my Mush Paper..wootwoot...yay. Bad pointS of the day? Ohhh...where to start...I'll just name a few highlights in order to spare you from the depressing story that was my day today. I practiced like mad for my aural skills class, and what happens when I get tested? I choke...not TOO bad..but bad enough to be PISSED. I kept thinking about what I did wrong...after all I put in a good 4-6 hours of practicing for that damn class. I think what it comes down to is I just have to practice harder. Also, it's essential that I practice with other people so I can get more used to singing in front of others. WhAteVeR...things will be better next week...I will practice my ass off even more and hopefully get together with other people also.

So yeah, I'm pretty crabby...I should end this post before I rubb off on anyone reading this...although it's prolly too late for that.

Oh yeah there was a HuGe drama in the hall with a bunch of the girls...I'd go into it but I already have a headache and just thinking about it increases that pain. Let's just say sometimes you have no choice but to hurt someone's feelings for the good of "the people." In the end maybe a certain someone with learn something and perhaps become a better person as a result. Maybe I'll elaborate latah, prolly not...the subject is exhausted.

That's it, I'm gone...tonight better be a peaceful night. Movies and sleep are antipated. I wish Em were here...I don't have anyone..:( Poor me right? Nah, I am a survivor I'm not gonna give up I'm gonna be stronger...okay enough. Adios.
Always,
Cheyenne Q. Hepworth

03:55 pm: I'll Be Missin' You
I'm such a crier. This morning I woke up early for class and before I left I went over to Em's to say goodbye and it just hit me. I finally understood that I would not be seeing her for the rest of the semester. I was so sad and I just didn't want her to go. It's good though. I'm proud of her that she could make such a hard decision. It's going to be best for her in the end, and I know she will be much happier which is much, much more important.

Anyhoo, today was good. Tuesdays rule because I only have two classes. As opposed to seven, seven, four, and four. I didn't come home and get things done as I should have, but I've forgiven myself and moved on...to laundry and the homework that must be completed. Yay for me, and patting myself on the back. :P

I forgot to mention that I went to breakfast with some girlfriends from High School on sunday morning which was excellent. Just thought I'd add that in there because it really was a good time and I had just remembered after I posted the entry. :)

Okay, are you ready for more stupid boy drama? Well it's not a big deal, I just feel the need to mention it since I'm thinking about it. Pay me no mind. Today, that stupid boy that I "used" to like was leaving just as Tim and I were leaving. I held the door for him and asked how he was (kind of in a short, friendly, civil manner all at the same time). He said, "Good, how are you?" and I said "Good." Then I just kept walking and directed all of my conversation towards TIm. I felt like SUCH a jerk. I didn't do it on purpose or anything, but I guess I'm not completely unjustified...I mean he's not the most innocent in terms of ignoring ME. He practically has every day of this freakin semester. Anyhoo...just feel guilty right now...which is a bad sign...because it just means that I'm not over my little crush.

Anyhoo...It' is time to put the wet clothes into the dryer...so I guess I should attend to that...hope all is well with every body. Valentines day is almost here and I just wish it could not come around, just this one year. It's not that I'm bitter and cynical about love...I just don't want to be reminded about it...just this one year...MAKE IT HAPPEN. :D Just Kiddin. I usually just absolutely love this holiday...I think that's mostly because I'm firmly of the belief that "All you need is love." Plus every year since freshman year, we'd get the day off to deliver singing valentines to people accross the community...ahh...those were the days...it was so much fun to see people's reaction at work or in class while they're being sung to in front of their entire office of coworkers or class of peers. Good TImes...

LAUNDRY TIME, I'M OUT.
Always,
Chey
Coo Coo Coo :D :D :D

03:16 pm: Weekend Update With Cheyenne Hepworth/DiaLaTeD PuPiLs
Wut iz uhp. Heh. Well, this weekend I had a great time. I took friday night off from homework, but I told you about that on friday...Saturday I woke up pretty early and did homework all day. I told myself I wasn't going to go to any parties unless I reached my quota in homework. Amazingly enough, my relentless hard work paid off, and my quota was reached. Wootwoot.

So I was invited to a party at the Delt's, which sounded like a lot of fun, but then there was another party at Selena's where I knew I'd know more people. While partying with the Delts would have probably been a good time, it's always more fun to party with people you know. I should have and wanted to stop by for a few minutes just to check it out, my name was on the list, but whatevah. :)

So I met a guy named Ben whom I talked to for a good hour or so...very cute...very nice...music major, studious, intelligent, and I actually have a class with him...even better...a junior :) I'm obviously at a point where I'm just an admirer from a far, but it's nice to have such great things to admire.

Sunday's church was good...the stupid boy I liked SOOOO much arrived with the girl I think he's going out with, and at one point during mass they were even playing footsie for a good one or two minute period...it probably wasn't even that long, I just felt awkward. I hate that feeling SO much. I just want to be on good terms with everyone...Anyway, I had lots of homework, so I came home right away and much to my amazement found out Em is leaving.

I can't TELL you how sad I am. I mean serious. She is the best friend that I have up here. Heather is a really close friend also, but I rarely see Heather anymore and Em and I have gotten to be such close friends. I'm SO happy for her. This is what she needs right now, and I fully recognize and understand that. Half of me is so excited and at peace for her. I mean this will be a GREAT opportunity for her. She will have some experience in the "real world" since she'll just be working and earning money for college next year, she's regain her love and passion for basketball, in the end she'll be happier with her basketball career over all...growing in more areas and deinately getting more playing time, and at the same time she'll get a break from her peers and school work for a whole semester. I'll admit I'm partial to the idea of all of this because my year off meant so much to me (I would be going CRAZY right now had I not taken the time off). But honestly, it really is the best option/opportunity for Em. I'm really happy for her, I am just so sad that I won't be able to see her like I always could.

The first day that she left for her last road trip I was freaking out missing her. I'm talking about how sad it is, and it's just not registering...barely starting to sink in that I WILL NOT BE SEEING HER ANYMORE. We had so many plans that we will never get to follow through with. I'm going to write her a lot and call and stuff, and even go visit her this summer, but it SO hasn't hit me yet. :( I'm slowly getting it, but...:'( It's just so hard to find people who you connect well with or that you can talk to and they care enough to listen to you and you to them. Wahhhhhhh

Well, on the school note, I've been keeping up with stuff pretty well, but I've fallen a little behind in reading. It's so hard for me to keep up with ten classes!!! I don't know what I was thinking, but obviously it didn't occur to me that it would be difficult...:D :P

I guess that's it for now. Big enough update...good weekend with a sad ending...I will survive (?) :) Okay. It'll be ok. I'mghost.
Always,
Chey
PS- Did you know that when you look at someone you're attracted to, your PuPiLs DiaLaTe? Interesante.

12:41 am: GrEaT dAy
Hey, what's up. Welp, today was an awesome friday. Everything was great. I woke up, finished my Music History paper, turned it in. We got new groups in Aural Skills today. My TA's are nice and my groups pretty cool too. It's good to hear other people making mistakes, like I'm not the only one.

Then, lunch with Tim at the commons...good times. I've been spending a lot more time with Tim lately and it's made me happier I think. I'm so glad that he's met someone that makes him so happy.

Next I got my paper back in my Ethnicity in America class and I got a ten out of ten, when most people got lower grades. This means I'm doing well with reading AND comprehension...yay...go me! :) I love that class anyway. Then in Jazz Choir I sang with Liz and Ann! We got there early and got a good spot up front. It felt more like last semester which was more fun because I've barely had a chance to sing with Liz and Ann. I always get there so late, and so many people have joined.

Then dinner with Sara and Alex. It was alright. We talked about religion most of the time, which was okay. It's interesting to hear Sara's point of view although more than once everything any one of us would say sounded so corny.

When I finished with dinner I was really just looking forward to coming home, popping in What Dreams May Come and kicking back...I had a headache. BUT when I get to my room, there are some girls and Michael in there, and Mal's not even home! RARR. Can we say FRUSTRATION?! I'm just sick of feeling invaded. Or used for my computer. Plus sometimes you just want to be alone. I even locked the door when I left so they shouldn't have been there. Ugh, whatever, I feel like such a jerk.

OH yeah, talked to my cous today. It was cool because this was the second time I've seen him on campus this semester and last semester I didn't see him at all. I guess the Delts are having a party tomorrow night and he said he'd put my name on the list...so yeah, guess I might catch that. I'm actually kind of excited about it since it's been FOREVER since I've gone out and had a good time. I just hate to let myself. I'm afriad it will put me farther behind in my already deeply rooted self-discipline issues. :)

Anyhoo, went next door a few hours ago and caught the end of a scary with Kelly and Tara. It was pretty scary. Afterwards we just talked for a long time. Ben came over for a little bit, and then Kel showed me her pictures from her trips...SOOO cool! I want to travel around the World! Especially NOW. I want to pack my bags and go see the sights right now...if only... Anyhoo, that was a really great time.

So here I am, in a great mood and all ready for bed time. I think since I didn't get a chance to watch my movie I'll put it in and watch it or fall asleep...whatever happens. :)

Nighty night.
Always,
Chey

11:48 pm: Sleep? Yes, please.
Hey hey, What's goin on. Well right now, I'm in my room along with Arlie, Dawn, Mal, Lauren and Ben. All I really want is some sleepy time. RAAR.

Well, while I'm patiently waiting for these people to finish watching whatever crap they're watching on TV, I guess I'll write a little something.

Today was good. I went english and we took an in class essay to see if we could test out of the class...I think I did pretty well considering I hadn't any prep time. I've decided not to get upset about to outcome. Whatever is meant to be will happen. If God feels I should be in that class, then let it be, right? Plus it's only on Tues and Thurs so it's all good.

Theory was next, and that went well. We had a lecture and no assigned homework...well at least none that's due until next week...sweet dealie yo. I took the best most thorough notes EVER. It was great. He did warn us this semester that he's going to try and pick random people and put them on the spot...this, to say the least, does NOT excite me. But it will keep me in line and practicing.

I also ignored a certain SOMEONE today...wootwoot...okay *ignored* might be a stretch...but I can definately say that I didn't go out of my way for him...yeah, that's right.

Then, Heath and I had a great day together. First we hit the bookstore where I picked up two of the four books that I needed (so I have to go back) plus two new pencils, and a stapler...man I love getting new school supplies. Then it was off to walmart to pick up my pics...woowoo...yeah I love pictures. Then to lunch at the Mongolian BBQ...oh yes...good place...I never go out to eat and had never been there...so thanks again HEATH...EXELE-HENTE...heehee. riiigghhttt...:)

Then to the mall right quick and back home to do homework before dinner...and more homework. I went to ridenbaugh also...that was good. I've decided to go everyday except maybe once or twice a week. Sundays and Wednesdays probably...but I might just let go of Wednesdays because Sundays are realistic...there's no school...but Wednesdays...my day starts at 8:30am and ends at 9:30pm...BLECH.

So yeah, right about now, my head-aches. Their stupid show better be almost done...tomorrow's a big day...let's go people...

Okay, enough. :) I will catch you lata.
Always,
Chey

08:30 pm: Church Thoughts...P.S. Boys suck
Heya,,,what's happenin? Well, I just got back from church which was both nice and sad.

I had already attended church on Saturday evening with my family, but since I didn't go last weekend, I felt the need for extra church...I know this does not, in any way make up for the lost weekend, but I was feeling an emptiness. I was going to go this morning also, but I failed to get up in time. Anyway, I really enjoy church and I've decided to write about the lessons I'm getting from church because I want to remember them, and apply them to my life.

Since I went twice I will compare my lewiston priests message with the priest up here's message. The priest up here basically told us that we are oridinary people with ordinary lives. He said that the main thing is to look for the extrordinary presence of God in our ordinary lives. My priest in Lewiston had a similar message but a little different. He said that we, as an ordinary people, are all ready always seeking the extrodinary,,,all the time. He said that ordinary is okay, but you should always look for the extrodinary. He also told us that God is everywhere and to remember our bodies are temples of God.

Personally, I liked my Lewiston priest's message better but of course I've always been partial to the priest in Lewiston. I didn't always like him, actually. When I came up here, however, I learned to appreciate him and his homilies. Not that it's THAT bad up here, I just enjoy my lewiston priest's perspective better.

Now for the sad part. Okay. So I've had the biggest crush I've ever had on someone on this guy who goes to church and is a music major also. He is one of the nicest, hard working, good hearted, intellegent people I've met. He's always been SOOOO freaking nice to me. Not that that meant anything, but ever since we came back from break, he's been very stand offish. Anyway, I've had a hunch that he's going out with this (very nice) girl from his home town for a little while now...at least since the break...which is fine...because there are several reasons I wouldn't want anything more from him...but I hate being on bad terms with anyone...let alone someone I like a lot or have a high opinion of. Mostly I guess it bothers me because I'm selective about who I hold a high opinion of...it means something, ya know? When he smiled big at me, I wasn't very responsive, and vice versa...PLUS after church they left together...even though she doesn't live in the dorms. Whatever, I just hope the AWKWARDNESS can end and we can be friends. That's really all I care about.

Anyhoo...I've reprioritized my life over the break and my ONE AND ONLY GOAL for this semester is SCHOOL. I am going to get A's and EARN them...by learning everything that I'm supose to learn. I will focus on other things in the summer time. I am not going to put myself in a lose lose situation again, and when I fail...I am going to accept it, forgive myself, and MOVE ON! That's what's going to happen, so yeah. Thought I'd write that shhhh...tuff out just to finalize it and what not.

Ending note? Church rules...boys SUCK. And I want to be on good terms with HIM. Rarrr...:(

Movie time with Em and who ever else. Then,,,reading homework and to bed with me.
Always,
Cheyenne